Farming: A Man's World? Yes.

I just read an article about actresses being asked questions that male actors would never be asked.  Next I skimmed an article about the use of male identifiers in the English language (i.e. mankind, guys, etc.).  After that I read an article about a Fox news anchor who criticize a colleague for telling women how to get a husband at the Masters.  I really don't know how I find this stuff.  This is procrastination at its best, I suppose.

Those articles got me thinking about myself and how I act and think.  In a previous post I talked about how I don't often let the men in my life help me with tasks.  Since then I've tried letting them help me more often.  I haven't gone soft and let them do everything, mind you.  I just let them carry the heavy stuff sometimes.  The other night the IVCF group at college had our end of the year wrap-up party.  I was in charge of getting groceries for supper.  I had already packed all of the groceries from the store to my truck, from my truck to my fridge, and then back from my fridge to my truck later in the day.  By the time I got to the farm where our party was, I was not about to touch those boxes and cooler again.  The girls who were with me were more than willing to take the boxes for me, but I stopped them and called a couple of the guys over instead to carry the stuff.  Why did I do that?  Was I taking advantage of chivalry?  Was I advancing the idea that women are weak and shouldn't have to do manual labour even if we want to?  I don't know.  All I know is that I wasn't about to carry those boxes again and that I figured I'd get the men to help with the heavy lifting one last time before they graduate.

I was pondering this event after reading those articles and that got me thinking about other posts I've written about farming as a woman.  I write rather a lot about that, don't I?  Curiously, those are some of my most popular posts...  Anyways, to get back to the topic at hand, I began to think about various arguments about women farming.  The phrase "a man's world" stuck in my mind and I immediately dismissed it.  After all, I've written at least one history paper that I remember about the important role that women have played in agriculture.  

After a bit more thought, though, I concluded that I may, perhaps, be wrong.  In fact, I am now convinced that farming now is a man's world.  That's not to say that women don't belong in agriculture.  Rather, I mean that agriculture is built for men nowadays.  My history classes have taught me that women began to be excluded from agricultural activities as technology began to make farming more efficient.  The equipment became larger and heavier, making it difficult for women, who are generally smaller and weaker than men (particularly those strapping farm boys), to operate the equipment, thus making their contributions to farming inefficient and unwanted.  Women became excluded from regular agricultural activity.  Without having to cater to the smaller size of women, companies making farm equipment continued to make it larger and more efficient.  Of course, there have always been a few women who remained involved in farming on the farm level.  However, I have found that today, most farm machinery, among other things, is built for the stature of the average man, which is a bit of a problem for a short girl like me.

I could launch into countless rants and long narratives right now to illustrate my point, but I shall attempt to resist.  Instead, I'll give a few brief examples of how short and average women are at a disadvantage using normal farm equipment.

  - On some grains bins, I can't climb to the very top because the ladder on the roof is too far away for me to reach.  Even on the ones I can get to the top of, it takes some fancy maneuvers to get my feet up onto the next rung of the ladder because they're spaced so far apart.

 - When I drive the tractor, my feet don't touch the floor.  In fact, they dangle several inches above it, even if the seat is put down as low as it goes (and that makes a very rough ride).  With my feet dangling and bouncing all day on the tractor, weighed down by my boots, my knees make sure I regret my career choice at the end of a long day.

 - I require the use of stools, step ladders, and acrobatic maneuvers I don't even realize I am capable of to reach to perform maintenance and other tasks on some equipment.  Putting twine in the baler, for example, can get rather interesting.

I won't go on.  Keep in mind that while it sounds like I am complaining, I'm really not.  Figuring out how to reach things is kind of fun sometimes.  And those grain bin ladders are just challenges that I intend to one day overcome.

Farming is a man's world because it was slowly built for men over hundreds of years.  This was not a conscious exclusion of women.  It simply came about through attempts to make farming more efficient.  However, we now have the technology to keep the efficiency and make agriculture more accessible to women, do we not?  And surely there are a few short men out there who would appreciate equipment sized to them.  I don't quite know what I'm suggesting, but perhaps there is a way to make farming more accessible to women (and short men).

Farming in a Technological World

Guess what I did today!  I used a GPS!

Okay, so I've used a GPS unit before.  It was a little hand held thing that I used to set way points around campus for an assignment in my Site Assessment Methods class.  The unit I used today was  a lightbar monitor that I used to drive a Gator along an AB line in my Mechanics class.  Even though I'm not really a fan of technology, that was pretty neat.

I guess I've been fighting technology for most of my life.  When I was younger, power tools scared me, so I would only ever use hand tools.  When my dad got a newer tractor that required me to flick a switch to change gears rather than using a stick shift, my mind was completely blown.  I still prefer to drive the old tractors.  A few years ago, my dad bought a tractor that came with a really simple lightbar GPS unit.  I have refused to use it.  I don't want lights flashing at me and buzzers beeping at me all day in the field!

This year I'm starting to see the usefulness of GPS technology.  I still have no desire to use the old lightbar unit in Dad's tractor, but if we had a newer unit with a monitor that we could use to record data and map fields, that would be pretty cool.  We could use the data and mapping to make the farm more efficient.

There is more than just GPS technology that is, for better or worse, invading farm life.  This spring my dad bought a camera system that will allow him to keep an eye on the cows from the TV during calving.  He says he'll set it up himself.  It comes with an instructional DVD, so that'll help...except that I forgot to leave instructions for how to operate the DVD player...sorry Dad.  If the camera system works it will mean that Dad can check the cows from inside the house on those cold nights instead of trudging outside late at night just to see if he needs to be out there.

And then there's the garage door opener.  I have a love-hate relationship with that thing.  It took half of forever to install, but at least it used up some rainy days.  It takes just the press of a button to open that huge door now, but you have find the right button.  The door basically closes by itself, but I have to stand there and watch it so it doesn't go back up if the dog runs under it.  And now we have another one to install.  Rainy days, here we come.

I think that sometimes non-farmers get offended when farmers bring out their technology.  Now, I'm not trying to make a broad, generalizing statement here.  I am saying that there are those who simply are not familiar with real-life farming and the only idea they have of farming is an old-fashioned, idyllic sort of lifestyle.  When these people realize that agriculture is an industry and that we are trying to be efficient, some of them get upset.  That's when we hear the outcry against "factory farms" and conventionally raised food.  I don't want to argue against all of the points of contention that come up in agriculture, but there is one point that I would like to make:

Farmers are human.  We need to eat, we need to pay our bills, and we need to take care of our families, just like everyone else.  Farming is how we make our living and we cannot provide food for the world if we cannot provide for ourselves.  There are such small margins in agriculture that we need to do whatever we can to make sure that we are still making money.  Farmers that destroy land, animals, and trust ruin it for the rest of us.  Those who farm in a sustainable manner while making use of all the technology available are the ones we need more of.

Dad's tractor with the GPS and switch to change gears.

Looking Forward

Most people who know me know that I'm a planner.  I'm organized and efficient and I don't really like to get off-track.  For years I've been able to look ahead to the future and say, "This is what I want to be doing next week, next month, next year, five years from now, etc."  My plans don't always turn out quite like I thought they would.  (According to my high school self, I should be teaching a high school math class right now.)  Even so, I can usually see where it is that I'm headed.

Right at this moment, though, everything ahead of me looks...empty.  There are no plans, not really.  Oh, sure, I'll be going home to work on the farm this summer and then I'll be back in Olds for my last year of college come September.  I'll graduate next spring and then go home and start to take over the farm.  That's my skeleton plan.  And that's about all I've got.  I can't figure out what any of that is actually going to look like, which is strange and unnerving for me.  I could list off the classes I'll be taking next year or talk about how involved I'll be in the IVCF group on campus, but even those are sort of scary unknowns.

Why?  Why can't I see ahead like I used to?  Maybe I've gotten wiser in the past few years and have learned not to count on my plans so much.  I mean, since I started post-secondary school I've changed my major or program four times!  I'm far from the person I thought I'd be, even back in September.  Besides, things can change quickly on the farm (or not at all), so farm life is all about being flexible.  Maybe I'm mellowing out in my "old age" and starting to let go of control in certain aspects of my life.  No.  That can't be it.  I still like being in control of my life and rather panic when I'm not.  Maybe...maybe I've finally started to understand that all the plans in the world don't mean a thing without people to share the future with.  I've starting building relationships, friendships with the people I've met here and I've begun to realize that I actually want them in my life.

There's just one problem.  They're leaving.  Not all of them, but a lot of them are graduating and moving on to other adventures and I can't imagine a future without them.  I can't imagine not having classes with them.  I can't imagine walking into Bible Study and not seeing their smiling faces or (in the case of the guys) their crazy antics.  Worst of all, I can't imagine meeting anyone new.

When I imagine my classes for next year, I see myself sitting with a lot of people who are in first year this year.  These are people that I didn't really get to know as well as the second years and somehow I can't imagine knowing them better, although I'm sure I will.  When I imagine Bible Study and other IVCF events, I see myself walking into a room with just a few people who are still around next year, sitting in a big, otherwise empty, room.  When I think about going to church I imagine sitting alone, much like I did at chapel when I went to school in Edmonton.

The logical part of my brain scoffs at those imaginings.  I know there will be other people who will come and somehow worm their way into my life and my heart.  And then there are those who are coming back, who have already become my friends.  Even so, when I look ahead, the future seems rather lonely at times.

That's what surprises me.  I've left people before and have had people leave me.  I've made friends and then left simply because it was time to leave.  The actual parting was often a bit uncomfortable, but I never really regretted moving on.  Now that it's once again time to say good bye to some dear friends, I find that this time it's different.  What did they do to me?  They made me care.  And now, like the Grinch, I'm...feeling.

The strangest part about all of this is that, even though I'm feeling a bit sad and sort of scared, I'm feeling excited, too.  Even though I can't imagine meeting anyone else or making any other friends, I know it'll happen.  Yes, looking forward will be a tad depressing at times, but it's also exciting.  I don't think I've ever really experienced that before.  I guess that's what happens when you let yourself open up to people.

Failure

I like to think that I'm a pretty patient person.  I really don't get angry or disappointed with other people very easily.  However, the saying, "you are your own worst critic" is especially true for me.  I am often disappointed in myself when my efforts fall flat.

Today, I fell flat.  I had to give a presentation in class on my farm.  I had written a huge report that took most of the semester to complete.  From that report, which I handed in this morning, I had to give a 10-minute presentation to the class.  I thought it would be easy.  Normally I hate public speaking of any sort.  It terrifies me.  But, yesterday I had to present a 50-minute lesson on solar and wind power in a different class (I was in a group of four, so it more like 12.5 minutes each).  It went really well!  So today, I went into class feeling reasonably confident.  As I listened to the five other students who presented before me, my confidence began to wane.  My PowerPoint wasn't nearly as nice as theirs.  And they had so much more technical information than I did.  Our farm doesn't have soil tests or any sort of official reports to give us information.  We just go by experience.  But the other presenters were talking about their own farms, which are bigger and way more impressive than my family's farm.  By the time I went up to do my presentation I was so scared of being that little farmer that doesn't really matter that I did a horrible job with the presentation.  I completely skipped over a good 2/3 of my soils information (which might have been my saving grace) and didn't even discuss the future farming plans.  It was bad.

I have no idea what kind of a mark I got on that presentation.  I won't know until the end of the semester.  Even if I get a decent mark, I'll still be disappointed in myself.  I had so many expectations  and now I'm just disappointed in myself.  You know, a lot of my classmates assume that I'm happy if I get a good mark in class and upset if I get a poor mark.  It's not like that.  I gave up on judging myself by marks a couple of years ago.  I go to school to learn as much as I possibly can so I can be the best farmer I can be.  I go to meet people who know more than I do so I can learn from them.  And, I do the best I can on assignments, not for the marks, or for the piece of paper I will one day graduate with, but because if I'm not doing my best, there's really not any point in doing it at all.  When I expect to do my best and I somehow don't do as well as I know I could, then I get upset and start beating myself up mentally.  If I expect that my best will get me about 80% on an assignment and I get 85%, well that's just icing on the cake.

School is one thing.  Life is quite another.  At school, everything we do is marked, and after a while we know what amount of effort will yield a certain number (grade) that is an acceptable result to us.  In life, results aren't always numbers.  In business classes, we learn that the best way to see how we are doing is to compare ourselves against industry averages.  I suppose that works okay for work, but there are so many variables on the farm, that even that will prove difficult.  Leaving work aside, there are also personal relationships to worry about.  My sister will testify under oath that I can be pretty awkward in social situations.  Sometimes, I just can't wrap my head around how I'm suppose to respond in whatever situation I'm in.  All I can do is to measure how those around me react to my reaction.  In social settings, I'm basically trying to please those around me because it's the only way for me to tell if I'm behaving in a proper manner.  When I fail, it's disappointing.  That's especially true when I step out of my regular "sit back, be quiet, and listen" mode and try to actually contribute.  If I fall flat then, I'm not real likely to try again for a while.  Unfortunately for those who seem to like it when I speak up, my definition of failure is a lot harsher than others'.  If I get nervous and forget to say something or stumble over my words, or embarrass myself, that's a failure.

The worst is when I think I've failed not just myself, but others as well.  Team projects are extremely stressful for me because I refuse to be the reason my team fails.  If the project isn't up to my high standards for my own work, I'll add to it, taking time and attention from more important projects and assignments.  Fortunately I have had some really good teams this year for projects in most of my classes, but it's still stressful.  I don't want to be the reason something big failed.  My worst fear is that I will finish school, go home, work hard, and drive the farm into the ground.  That will be a huge personal disappointment.  More than that, though, I think I will have disappointed my family and relatives, because I will have destroyed the family farm.

School is a wonderful place because we get to dream big dreams and work out dozens of possibilities on paper without putting the farm in jeopardy.  The real world is a scary place, though.  Yes, there are still times when we can dream big dreams and work out possibilities on paper, but sometimes the dreams crash and reality just doesn't work out the way it was supposed to on paper.  And that is really frustrating.

This has been a really pessimistic post.  I know from experience that there are many good times on the farm and that life is not about results.  However, there are times when fears and worries crowd in.  Those days are reality, too.  Today is one of those days.

Contacts

I’ve been thinking lately about how important it is to have good contacts in the farming industry.  Come to think about it, it’s important to have good contacts in any industry.  While I’m not exactly a social butterfly, I have been starting to connect with more and more people in the agriculture industry, and in related industries, and I find myself wanting to connect with more people.  Earlier this year I was mainly just aiming to make friends.  That worked out really well. 

I now have way more friends than I quite know what to do with, and a lot of them have turned out to be valuable contacts.  In fact, the other day I was in a discussion with a few of my friends about celebrating Pi Day.  I hadn’t had pie that day.  I was cooped up in my apartment doing homework.  One of my friends said that he had a whole pie to himself and he was looking for people to share it with, but “everyone was out of town.”  A few of us quickly made sure to tell him that we were, in fact, in town and would have loved to share his pie.  One thing led to another and soon I was jokingly acting offended and threatening to “unfriend” him.  I had meant in the literal sense of the word, but one of our other friends made a comment about the unfriending becoming “Facebook official.”  I didn’t say so, but I immediately thought, “oh no, I wouldn’t unfriend him on Facebook even if I did unfriend him in real life.  He’s much too valuable of a contact for that.”

That sounds a little harsh and I admit I surprised myself with that.  To be clear, I am not about to toss aside any friendships anytime soon.  The point I’m trying to make is that it’s really great to have made friends who know more about farming than I do (not that I know much).  Any time I get stuck or confused about a concept in class, all I have to do is track down one of my friends and ask about it.  It seems that there are certain subjects that I'm weak in, particularly on the livestock side of farming.  Fortunately, I have plenty of friends and classmate who are always willing to teach me what I don't know.  It good to be able to ask them for help when I need it.

I want to be able to do that even once I leave school, to track down people who know more than I do and to learn from them.  I want to keep getting to know mechanics, vets, agricultural lenders, and other farmers.  I’m starting to figure out that farming is not a solitary adventure.  It’s a community achievement.  Sometimes friends and neighbours help me with a problem and sometimes I can help them.  My wish is to be a contributing member of the community, to help and be helped, and to make the community stronger.