Why is This Compelling?

The main part of this blog was written on April 28, 2015, while I was at a retreat, away from internet access.  It is the story of how I figured out what passion is and that I actually do have a passion for farming.  Some of my friends have mentioned in the past my passion for farming, but I could never understand what that meant.  No matter how many times I looked up "passion" in the dictionary, I could never make sense of the word.  So, here is the post I wrote earlier this week:

I feel a little bit like I just fell flat again.  I am at MARKwest, an intense, week-long study of the Gospel of Mark.  We studied Mark 4:1-34.  This is the part of Mark in which Jesus tells and explains the Parable of the Sower.  I was the only farmer (but not the only farm kid) in the room and I suddenly found myself getting really excited about the parable because it makes sense to me in so many different ways.  I quickly shared my excitement with my table group.  When we got to discussing the parable as a large group, the leader asked, "Is this story compelling?" and someone across the room replied, "No, I find it pretty boring."  A quick poll revealed that the rest of the room pretty much agreed with him.  The leader held off asking for my opinion until everyone had had a chance to agree or disagree.  Finally, I was allowed to say that I find the story extremely compelling.  That's when it all fell apart.  The leader asked, "Why is it compelling?"  I knew I was in trouble then.  You see, for all my ability to explain things through writing, I am absolutely terrible at expressing my thoughts through the spoken word.  I cannot make what's in my mind come out of my mouth, even on the rare occassions when what comes out of my mouth actually sounds pretty good.

Well, I did my best to explain what about the story is so compelling to me.  Most of the other people in the room just stared blankly at the walls, clearly not catching my enthusiasm.  Fortunately for me, S., who grew up on a farm, and J., who has worked on a farm, caught what I was trying to say and added in their own experiences and explanations as well, so the overall concept got explained fairly well.  All of my thoughts about soils, preparing the fields, and the historical context of the agriculture in the parable got put into words eventually, even if they weren't my words.

This experience got me thinking about how exciting farming is and how I wish I could make others understand the excitement.  It is ridiculously hard for me to explain my enthusiasm for agriculture to anyone other than a farmer.  I suppose it would be difficult for say, a lawyer, to explain his/her enthusiasm for the law to me and for me to really understand.  I guess it's pretty hard to really be excited about something without understanding.  Even though this is an understandable phenomenon, it sure kills my joy when others aren't as excited about agriculture as I am.

Likewise, it is difficult for me to explain my excitement about God's Word and His Kingdom to someone who is not a Christian.  As a group of Christians gather and share stories, it can be really easy to build excitement for God's work.  Explaining that excitement to an unbeliever, though, is ridiculously hard.  And, as with explaining farming stuff, the excitement can quickly wither when it is not shared.

Looking back at how the rest of the week went, I think that maybe I didn't fail as I thought I did. As with agriculture, communicating can be a community effort.  While perhaps not everyone understood what I was trying to say, I had help from some guys I barely knew to explain what I couldn't say myself.  In the end, I had several people thank me for sharing my thoughts on the parable.  They said that it really helped them to understand the parable better.  I am very glad for the week I got to spend studying God's Word in a community of believers and sharing with them my farming experiences.