Examinations

I just finished final exams for the semester.  The last one, livestock, was this morning.  Yesterday I wrote an exam for a course called "Survey of Agribusiness."  That's one of those classes that we all have to take, but we have no idea what the point of it is.  There is no real connecting point for all the stuff we learn in the class.  It covers such a wide range of material that it's hard to know what to focus on, especially come exam time.  Yesterday, while writing my answer to the last of five brutally long "medium answer" questions on the exam, I think I sort of figured it out.

Exam, as most people should know, is the shortened version of examination, which is what people used to call exams back when life was slower and they had time for the extra syllables.  The last question on that exam forced me to examine everything I had learned and figure out if my perception of the term "agribusiness" had changed.  I won't bore you with the page-long answer I wrote as my hand threatened to never uncurl from around the pen again, but suffice it to say that I had a bit of a breakthrough.  I figured out that everything we had learned in that class was supposed to broaden our worldviews to keep us from becoming as close-minded as we like to think that certain city folk are.  

Let me explain that.  As students of agriculture, we learn a lot about how to educate non-farmers about what really goes on at the farm level.  That's not to say that all city folk are ignorant.  It's just that there are some pretty interesting ideas about farming floating around out there.  Anyway, I think that sometimes we forget that we don't always have to be the educators.  There are actually some people that we can learn things from.  And so, this "Survey of Agribusiness" class is meant to open our minds to possibilities.  That doesn't mean we have to blindly accept everything, but we can at least listen.  I'm not about to get into farming if it means becoming a robot overlord in the near future, but I suppose I could be open to using some new technology.  This class has forced me to examine what I know and think I know about farming.

You know, the funny  thing about thinking and examining is that it usually leads to more thinking and examining.  I've been examining the way I live my life lately.  This year, as I was studying in the library one day, one of my friends pulled me over to a table where one of the guys we know from Bible study was studying.  More of the guys were going to be coming and everyone was going to study together.  A few hours later, we had two tables pushed together with nine people crowded around, most of us studying economics and waiting for our pizza lunch to arrive.  That was the first time I had really experienced group studying.  It's a strange experience.  We all get distracted really easily and at least half of the time spent "studying" has nothing to do with actually learning or reviewing the material.  Yet somehow we learn the stuff better because we quiz each other and we're all trying to look like we know what we're talking about.  When I studied with the group, I actually seemed to retain what was going into my head.

As the semester continued on towards its inevitable end, I found myself studying with that group of friends a few more times.  Other times I studied alone.  I've always been okay with being alone for significant periods of time and I have always studied alone and done a lot of my school work alone.  Even some group projects I've opted to do alone - mainly because I'm too chicken to ask anyone to be my partner.  I suppose I told myself that I spend so much time alone because I need to get used to being alone on the farm.  One day I'll go home and take over the farm and I'll be alone.  There are, of course, times in every farmer's life when there is a lot of alone time.  Most of that alone time is on the tractor.  But, I guess I expect that I'll be alone all the time.  And I've been preparing myself for that.  It was going well, too, until my friend pulled over to that table to study.  Now I'm beginning to realize that I'm not really okay with being alone all the time.  It seems my friends at school have rather ruined my happy lonely existence.

Now, I'm not about to become a social butterfly or anything, but I think I need to start re-examining how I’ve been living my life.  Maybe instead of preparing to be alone I should be working to make sure that I’m not alone.  Maybe it’s my responsibility to get out of my lonely little comfort zone and take a risk and make friends wherever I am.  I won’t always have time to be sociable, but that’s farm life and I’ve always known that.  Some seasons will be busier than others.  But that doesn’t mean I can just shut myself away from the world and blame on the lifestyle I've chosen.