In an average or good year a question like that isn't so bad. It's a normal question in a farming community and farmers ask it of each other. But in the difficult years and seasons, questions like that make us want to just walk away from conversation.
The problem isn't just that we hear the same questions or comments over and over again. It's that we don't have the emotional capacity to keep answering the question.
This year has been rough. In fact, the past three years have been rough in my neck of the woods, with wet planting and harvest seasons causing farmers to leave fields without crops or with unharvested crops. This year has been even worse because haying season was also ridiculously wet, which made it almost impossible to get decent feed put up. And let's not get into all of the trade deals and politics and environmental and animal rights activism that has targeted farmers in recent months and years.
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| One of the storms that rained on my hay this summer. |
The farmers in my community are tired and discouraged. We just want to get our crops harvested so we can get finished with this year and try again next year, but the rain and snow just won't stop. I'm willing to bet that a lot of farmers are getting awfully close to having some mental health issues if this keeps up much longer. I know I've sure been a lot grumpier than usual.
We get that our friends and acquaintances care and want to know how things are going, but having to repeat things like, "We haven't started yet. It's been too wet. Things aren't looking good." over and over again makes the burden just that much heavier. We don't want to talk about it anymore.
So, if you're talking to a farmer who is having a rough harvest this fall, please consider the following advice:
Avoid
- asking how harvest is going. Only close friends, family, and neighbours get to ask that on a need-to-know basis, and not too often.
- offering to help if you've never worked on a farm before. We feel bad refusing your help, but it only adds to our stress in a difficult season if we have to train someone new and then worry about your safety and the safety of our equipment in the hands of greenhorn.
- commenting on how tough the year or season has been. We know. We've heard it over and over and over and over again until it feels like we will implode under the weight of it. If we need to hear it again, we'll talk about it with other farmers who really understand.
Instead, try
- asking if we've heard anything interesting on the radio lately. Some farmers might listen to podcasts or audio books, but in general, the radio is a safe bet.
- asking if we're planning to attend any conferences or farm shows in the winter. Those are always exciting events that we look forward to, and it helps us take our minds off the present difficulties.
- offering to babysit or take over some other task. This will free all members of the farm family to get the farming done. If the farmer refuses, though, please accept that. It might simply be to overwhelming to try to coordinate people and farmers already know who they can ask for the specific help they need.
I know it's tough to think outside the box of normal conversation starters, but in times like what we're experiencing here in north central Alberta, the farmers really need you to consider our mental well-being before launching into a conversation about the weather and harvest.
